Sensing the present
Heart shaped leaf caught in the trees, Charnwood Water, November 2020
“How can I stay in the present moment, in a place of peace and calm? What can I do to help myself chill out?” These are common questions, from my clients and also from myself. The need to be in the present moment and to find calm and rest is a constant quest for many and part of my working week. However, I am mindful that as holiday time approaches for most of us, the need for times of peace are just as important. A break from work doesn’t automatically mean a peaceful time for everyone, and self-care is still important, even more so when the joys of the season bring their own pressures.
There are as many ways to seek the present moment as there are people, the experience is unique. However, I hope that by sharing my own thoughts on how the process works for me, others may seek their own answers, or at least be encouraged to remember that there is an answer waiting for them.
Although the outcome is simple, the process of acquiring calm in the present moment is not. Nor is it easy, permanent or just having a relaxing time. It takes discipline and dedication, but the discovery of what works for you is a worthy endeavour, and could lead you to find out more about yourself and your needs, especially as you grow and change.
After years of making excuses, not valuing it and ignoring my need for it, I now have self-care and reflection time scheduled every week. Creating space for it has been a central part of my therapeutic and training journeys, and you can find the balance of time and space to suit your own needs once you recognise they are there. The trigger for me is my mood, usually a feeling of anxiety, stress or frustration. I know myself well enough to know it won’t shift without action, and as I need to be able to work safely, I have a duty of care to others as well as myself to move out of an uncomfortable place. Learning to be aware of what your triggers are and how you become aware of them is your first step.
Next, choose your activity. I take myself out for a walk – and crucially alone. I need to be free from distraction, responsibility and observers for a while at least. I prefer to be by water or in woodland, but whatever landscape is accessible, moves you and offers you space is best. Since the goal for me is to be immersed in the present, rather than distracted from it, I find that activities which encourage imagination or fantasy don’t suit as well. I don’t want my mind to roam, just my body. My mind should stay with me and not be drawn to the past or future.
I have two rules for my walks. The first rule is to do one thing at a time. I am walking, that is it. I don’t use the time for phonecalls, eating breakfast, or working through an idea. If those things are required, I need to stop for them. This is because the act of sensing the present is valid work, and I am accomplishing something in itself.
The second rule is perhaps odd – I am not allowed to ask myself any questions. This includes ‘how are you?’. I am focusing on what is, not what could or should be. Statements are helpful, such as ‘it’s a nice day’ or ‘what a lovely tree’, whereas questions such as ‘what am I doing later’ or ‘why am I feeling like this’ take me out of the present immediately.
When I lose my focus, I bring myself back by noticing my environment. I use a simple rainbow exercise – I am not allowed to move on until I have found one thing in my environment for each colour. Suddenly I’m looking carefully at my surroundings, and even in these supposedly dull days the variety of colour is spectacular. Noticing the beauty of it all is usually enough to remind me of what I am doing by being on my walk, and I am returned to the present.
I find it crucial to stop often and admire; sights, sounds, vistas, ripples, leaves. I always walk, never jog or run, and always without earphones. Others may find what they need in those activities, but for me I want to absorb as much of my current environment as possible, which is a slow and multi-sensory experience. It’s amazing the peace you can find by exploring the colours of moss on a branch or listening to the interplay of bird song. Nothing is allowed to interrupt that moment, especially not myself or my thoughts.
You see, the purpose of being present is not so that you can solve the problem you are faced with. The purpose is to be with yourself for long enough to recognise again your true capacity. Then you can go and work on it, from a place of peace and strength. If you take your problem with you, you may as well have not bothered to go for a walk at all, as you won’t have had the peace you wanted. There will always be another problem, so better to build up your stocks of peace and inner strength.
The final rule is to practice it all, many times, finding out what works for you, enjoying the experimentation. Put it in your diary so you don’t find yourself too busy, work on the discipline and refine your techniques, not so you can eventually stop but so that you can stay in the sense of the present once you’re done.